Girls and Their/Our "Need" to Talk

Growing up in a family where girls outnumber boys, I've been used to all the drama that comes with it. Being a girl myself makes me a contributor to this drama a lot of times. And I have to agree that this drama would a lot of times root from every girl's "need" to talk and speak up their mind.

Being women, we are more emotional than our male counterparts who would usually bottle up their emotions and keep it to themselves. We would usually want our voices and opinions to be heard, which gives us a reputation of being talkative. But why is it that girls seem to want to talk all the time

In a crowd of buzzing bees, I have to say that I am the exception to the rule. I do have my own way of expressing myself, and I admit that there would be times when I would be loud. But I'm the kind of girl who could sit still and listen to the professor and just shut up.

I've been around lots of girls all my life. In high school, the boys were outnumbered by more than double their number. And majority of my closest friends are girls. But having recently transferred to an all-girls school gave me a different experience.

In my school, it is very rare to see a true male being in the campus. (And yes, I did make it a point to emphasize the word true for not all of them are 100% boys.) There are the professors, the staff and other personnel, and a very tiny number of male students. In my classes, I've only experienced having a guy classmate twice (one for each instance), and that's because I'm an irregular student.

You see, students are usually grouped by blocks for their whole stay. And they will belong to this block until they graduate except for special cases. The only courses with male students are Fine Arts and Music. And if you do not belong to that course, then there's about a 99% chance of you not having a guy classmate.

But hey, enough with the "guy talk". I'm here to talk about girls talking, right? So, a couple of days ago, I was sitting in computer class and watching the movie "The Net". About thirty-three other girls are doing the same thing with me in the room. And in the middle of one of the suspense scenes, everyone were screaming and making scared, loud noises. I got to thinking that this might be worse if a movie house was filled with girls watching a suspense, a thriller, or even worse, horror, and they would be aloud to make any noise they want. I laughed silently in my head, amused by what was happening.

A similar thing happened earlier today during a gathering in school. About six hundred or so second and third year students were gathered in a hall for our re-orientation. In the six hundred or so, about 95% is female. During the eight-hour event, not one moment was there complete silence. And more than half the time, there was very noisy that I felt sorry for the speakers in front.

I may be a girl, but I just don't get it why they all have to talk. I would only be seeing a few girls like me listening intently, and some of them aren't talking 'cause they don't know who they're seated with. Whatever it is, I haven't got the answer. But it has been proven in the past how complicated girls are that even girls have a hard time deciphering themselves.


Lots of Love,
J<3

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Mother's Day 2012

I know that Father's Day is almost near and that this post is a month too late, but I wanted to share what my sister and I (with a little help from our Dad) went through to give my mom the most relaxing Mother's Day she's ever had. I don't know why I haven't had a chance to write this last month (maybe it's because of all that book writing :P), but here it is anyway.

My sister and I had everything planned the week before Mother's Day, but we had to make a few changes because we had to go somewhere that Saturday. So very early that Sunday morning, my Dad and my sister went to the supermarket. But what my mom thought is that they were going to our house in Laguna.

A few moments after I woke up, my mom asked me to call them and ask them where they were. When I got to talk to my sister about how her shopping went, I forgot to ask what to tell my mom where they were. So when she asked me again, I told her that they were in Magallanes (the place where I thought they were shopping), and my mom asked how that could be because it was in the opposite direction. I got her to believe that the connection was bad when I spoke to my sister so I might have heard the place wrong.

When they got home, my sister had to sneak in a few of the stuff that had to go to the fridge but my mom caught her without getting a glimpse of what exactly she was hiding. We got to the car to head of to church and thank goodness that my sister had a bouquet of roses in there. When my mom saw it, she believed that it was the cause of everything weird that was happening and that it was the only surprise we had for her.

Later that afternoon, we got her to believe that we're all supposed to go to Makati to meet up with someone who's selling a car (my dad's planning to buy one for me :D).  But on the way, we made a detour to a spa. We led her down the car and up the staircase that lead to the spa. She only noticed what we were doing the moment my sister opened the door to the spa. We talked to the concierge who had our reservations ready for a full body massage, foot spa, hand spa, with a mani-pedi. We left her there and got her thinking that we were heading to where the guy with the car was. But that wasn't the case because the surprise isn't over yet. My dad dropped my sister and I home as he went to do some errands of his. We had a little dinner to prepare in three hours (hopefully).

I was to prepare a vegetable lasagna and butternut squash chowder while my sister was to make toast with salmon and cream cheese and a parfait. I was less than halfway into making both dishes when my mom called saying that she might be home earlier because they didn't allow her to have a foot spa. Apparently, it wasn't allowed after a massage. I felt kind of bad about it because I was expecting of giving my mom the most relaxing day ever, but more than that, I was scared of her coming home while the kitchen was still a mess without dinner on the table (which was my surprise if you hadn't caught up).

I called my dad and told him to make some kind of leeway. I thought that he could distract her and ask her what we were having for dinner and if she needed to buy anything from the market. It would work not only to buy us more time, but also to make the surprise dinner almost unthinkable for her. It worked and when I was in the brink of finishing up, my dad called telling us that they're about to head home. Everything was just in time when the car got to the garage. I had just laid the table and made sure that my sister had done her job when my mom got to the door. We only had one problem: the kitchen's a mess. So I just kept the door shot and didn't let my mom to step in or even see the kitchen.
Dinner Table

Fruit Cocktail  Parfait

Blueberry and Peach Parfait

That night is a very memorable night not only for my mom but also for the rest of the family. Usually, we would only buy her a bouquet of flowers and eat out for Mother's Day. But now that my sister and I are older, we have made it a point to do something my mom would appreciate and also benefit from (not that she doesn't get that from the usual celebration). We thought that she needed to relax after all those nights sleeping late in the office during the Tax Season (she's an accountant) and that she needed a break from all the cooking after loosing our maid.

After all that, we realized that we have just one tiny problem, how do we top that next year? But anyway, we still have eleven months, right? So what's the rush? 'Till next time.


Lots of Love,
J<3

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Taba ng Talangka (Crab Fat) Pasta

Being an aspiring cook, I love to experiment with things. And as I have said in one of my previous post, this may not be a food blog, but there would be times when I will be sharing a recipe of something I made (or just something I would like to share). And today, I whipped up myself a sinfully delectable pasta made with Taba ng Talangka (sometimes called Aligue, Crab Fat, or Crab Roe).

Taba ng Talangka is full of cholesterol so I use it sparingly in my cooking (I think I've only eaten it twice). It comes from tiny crabs found in the Philippines we call Talangka. And "taba" means "fat", hence the English term crab fat. But I have found in some sites that aligue is actually crab roe. Whatever it is, it is still very fatty because not only is it fatty in itself, it has also been preserved in a large amount of oils and spices.

Last night, I asked a little help from my friend Google to find the perfect Aligue Pasta recipe. I have found a few, but when I started cooking, I threw my recipe sheet and did things on my own. This recipe is inspired by about seven different Aligue Pasta recipes I have read. I just adjusted them to my liking, and voila! Taba ng Talangka Pasta just the way I like it.


Serving size: 1
Preparation time: 15 minutes

Ingredients:
    100 g. pasta of your choice cooked according to package instructions (I have used whole wheat fusilli pasta because that's all I have, but I suggest something stringy like spaghetti or fettuccine)
    2 tbsp. crab fat (you may adjust this according to your preference)
    Juice of 2 pcs. calamansi or juice of half a lemon, which ever is available
    5 asparagus spears cut into 1 inch sticks
    1 tsp. chopped garlic
    1 tsp. olive oil
    a pinch of salt
    a pinch of ground pepper
    a pinch of chili flakes (optional)
    Parmesan cheese
    chopped parsley for garnish


Procedure:
  1. Saute the garlic in olive oil until slightly brown, being careful that it won't burn.
  2. Stir in the crab fat, then the calamansi juice.
  3. Add the asparagus and cook for a minute.
  4. Mix in the pasta with a little pasta water.
  5. Add salt, pepper and chili flakes (if using) according to taste.
  6. Turn of the heat and mix in the Parmesan cheese.
  7. Sprinkle the parsley, stir and transfer to the plate.
  8. Drizzle additional olive oil if you want. Enjoy!


Variations:
  • Aligue enhances the taste of seafood so you can add a few shellfish to make it a Taba ng Talangka Seafood Pasta.
  • Adding two to three tablespoons of milk/cream can turn it into a creamy pasta.
  • Infusing some Asian flavors through turning into a Curried Taba ng Talangka Pasta is possible. Just add a teaspoon or two of curry paste (any color) and two to three tablespoons of coconut cream.
  • The asparagus can be replaced by some other vegetable like peas or green beans, or you can omit the vegetable part all in all. 

Lots of Love,
J<3

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Story of Us

I'm a big fan of Taylor Swift, and I love how her songs speak so much about the life of a normal teenager. Whenever I listen to one of her songs, its as if I'm listening to her tell a story about a snippet of my life. She has the gift of expressing the words teenage girls (and sometimes guys) can't say into a song everyone who's been in love, heartbroken, hurt, and experienced all other emotions can relate to.

This song is one of them. Whenever I hear or sing this, I can't stop myself from relating it to how I feel over a guy I used to like (and maybe still like somehow). It really didn't turn out into anything more than us being friends, but I feel like this song is the Story of Us.


I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,
How we met and the sparks flew instantly,
People would say, "They're the lucky ones."



We met in college, and he was the first guy I got to talk to and we became friends at once. I couldn't exactly say how I felt about him, but we just clicked. A year after (when I transferred schools), that's when I realized that I liked him. I remember telling a friend about the whole story about us, and she was all twitterpated about it.



I used to know my place was a spot next to you,

Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat,

'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on.



Now, after almost a year without any communication, I don't know if we're even friends. We're "friends" on Facebook and I follow him on Twitter, but that's it. I sometimes get the urge of clicking his name in the chat box and talking to him, but I just swiftly change my mind and continue to scroll down.

Oh, a simple complication,
Miscommunications lead to fall-out.
So many things that I wish you knew,
So many walls up I can't break through.

I do have a lot of things I would like to say; things I wish he knew. But I just keep loosing the courage to talk to him (even online). 

[Chorus:]
Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

I guess that crowded room is similar to the internet, or to Facebook and Twitter. But I sure do ask myself a lot if he feels the same way I do. Does he miss me? Whenever I tell our story to my friends in my new school, they all keep blushing, thinking that our story was just the perfect love story. They had no idea how it has turned out to be. </3

Next chapter.

How'd we end up this way?
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy,
And you're doing your best to avoid me.
I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us,
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here,
But you held your pride like you should've held me.

I don't know what happened when we parted ways, but when I did get enough courage to talk to him (on Twitter, HAHA), nothing happened. He did avoid me (somehow). And posted something about 'letting go' right after. I lost my mind for a while there, replaying everything in my head over and over again. And I know it's a bit too much for me to over-think things and assume that it was for me, but it's far from impossible. 

Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,
Why are we pretending this is nothing?
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how,
I've never heard silence quite this loud.

I really wish I could tell him I miss him because I really, really do. And I am afraid to see how this ends. I don't want to loose even just our friendship.

[Chorus:]
Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

This is looking like a contest,
Of who can act like they care less,
But I liked it better when you were on my side.
The battle's in your hands now,
But I would lay my armor down
If you'd say you'd rather love than fight.
So many things that you wished I knew,
But the story of us might be ending soon.

The lyrics speak for itself. And I'm sure this story has long ended, and it's not a "happy ever after".

[Chorus:]
Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now, now, now.
And we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate 'cause we're going down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

The end.

But I don't want it to end. :'(

Lyrics Source: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/taylorswift/thestoryofus.html


Lots of Love (and a bit of heartache?),
J<3

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

It started with a dream...

I’m in the second floor of one of our school (high school) buildings, and you and I, together with our batch mates are practicing for our turnover. It involved some dancing, to the waltz I think, and we are partners. You kept holding my hand, but I would just pull away. Then you placed your arm around my shoulder and just smiled at me.

Our friends and classmates teased us, but you just stood by my side. The music started playing, and we danced. We are smiling at each other, laughing, having fun. You had one hand on my waist and another holding my hand. And whenever I looked into your eyes, you would look back at me and just smile.

Not much words were said, but I felt how much you cared for me; then I WOKE UP.

I was in second year high school when I first dreamt of IA. And now I keep dreaming of him again. But this time it’s not just him, sometimes I would dream about EZ too (although not at the same time).

I don't know it it's because of the medicine I've been drinking (something for my allergies; it keeps me asleep for about twelve hours straight), or if it's because of the book I'm trying to write - a love story (I've got a little writers block, and I'm trying to inspire myself by playing back the "moments" I've had with my previous crushes because I've got no real inspiration). But whatever it is causing me to dream about the guys I used to like (whom I haven't seen for a long time), they got me into thinking if I still have feelings for them. After all, the first time I recognized my feelings for them was when I first dreamt about them.

Probably those dreams of mine in the past were just wake-up calls, telling  me "Hey, dude! You clearly like him. Why can't you see that?" But what about these dreams that I've been having recently, what are they trying to tell me?


They say that our dreams are part of our subconscious, something that we want, something we're trying to hide, something we're worried of but keep pushing to the back of our minds. But the thing is, in my dreams, they like me back. They would be the ones holding my hand, leaning close to me, and looking at me as if I'm the only person in the room. And those things never happened for real (except for the ones Y would explicitly do just to tease back our classmates who keep teasing "us").


Both those crushes ended up with us just being friends (or maybe less than friends). One of them knew how I felt for him in the end, the other guy... I don't know. We have a weirder relationship - I found out I like him, then our common friends found out I like him, a couple weeks after, I found out he likes me. I know it sounds sweet and cute  and whatever, but everything got weird afterwards. It's hard to explain how, but all I can say is, right now, I sure wish I could turn back time and prevent myself from knowing that he liked me back.


Every time I wake up from any of those dreams, I have a sudden rush of emotions, bringing back all the ones I felt before, and bringing in new ones I have yet to understand. A part of me wishes that those dreams could somehow turn into reality. Another part of me longs for the dreams to just stop coming so that I could finally forget Y and P completely. But this tiny part of me is trying her very best to hold on to them, to my memories, because no matter what happened between us, they have been a great part of my teenage life.


Whether those dreams go back or not, I don't know. Whether I like them to come back, I also don't know. I'm not sure what I know about [how I feel for] them. I guess I just miss them, and my dreams are just a way of my body to cope up with it. They're still my friends, right? I sure hope the answer to that question is yes.



Lots of Love,
J<3

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

Straight from the Heart

You might not know, but I've been trying to write a book for quite some time now. Actually I started writing it when I was fifteen (just the prologue and a chapter), but I only got to writing it again this summer. The thing is, after getting to the fourth chapter, I got hit by the silly writer's block. I just stare at my lap top monitor, type a few words, press CTRL + S, then switch windows. This has been going on for a week or so, and I haven't even finished a page. I keep changing my mind and deleting things. Now, school's just around the corner and summer's about to end, but I haven't gotten to the middle of my story.

The thing is, I've got the whole thing planned out, how it's gonna end and all. But I can't get from the beginning to the end without the middle, right?

So I decided to do something else. I haven't written much in my blog, so I went on and opened it. But our connection got lost so I just typed on MS Word. Words just seemed to flow out of me through my fingers to the keyboard and to the screen. I wanted to write a lot of things. I ended up writing more than one entry to be posted the next day (but I decided to post them one at a time HAHA).

I realized that because I'm pouring out my emotions through the words I'm typing, everything just seems to flow out. But when I decide to write my book again, they stop coming. The words keep flowing straight from the heart. As for my book, it's coming from nothing; it hasn't got any source.

I'm trying to write a book about love when I haven't experienced being in a relationship myself. I tried tapping into the memories I have of my recent crushes, but look what it has gotten me into (re: It started with a dream...). Those "moments" I had with them were on replay for quite some time. (I know I haven't got any real moments with them, but anyone who's had a crush would have special memories of him/her where he/she might have done something, no matter how big or small, that stuck to your head. It may have seemed nothing to the 'crushee' but the 'crusher' would surely remember it.)

I don't know if I'll ever get to finish my book. But now I learned that whatever it is, as long as it's straight from the heart, it will go along its own course.


Lots of Love,
J<3

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

#schoolmemories

A few weeks ago, #schoolmemories was a trending topic on Twitter. And together with the rest of the [mostly teen-aged] Twitter community, I participated in that trend, sharing my own school memories.


Along the way, I couldn’t stop noticing that most, if not all, of the things I said were all high school memories. From the English Campaign, to sleeping in class, the random things we do in school and the places we miss the most, the list goes on. Everything brought me back to the all-too-familiar place I once [and still] call home (my second home, that is).

The last time I was in school was this March when I attended the Graduation Ceremony of the batch who were in second year when I graduated. All the memories started flooding me as I walked down the halls of my alma mater.

I really miss that place; I truly miss being in high school. And that night, when the #schoolmemories was a trend on twitter, the emotions materialized into a dream.

I was sitting in a desk in one of the classrooms, the one we had in fourth year if I’m not mistaken. I saw the faces of the people I’ve been missing a lot – my classmates = my friends = my brothers and sisters = MY FAMILY. We were being oriented by one of our professors about what was going to happen: we’re back in high school!
I don’t know how it’s possible, but the way I understood it in my dream, we would be spending a term in high school with our high school classmates. But we still get to pursue our classes in college. (I know it’s weird, but hey, it’s a dream.)
The next thing I know, I’m in the canteen, eating and laughing with my BFFs. Everything was fuzzy, and I don’t remember what exactly happened next. All I know is I was back in high school, I can now see my friends a lot more, and everything was real.
I woke up that morning dreading that I opened my eyes because I wanted my dream to go on forever. I tried my best to remember what exactly went on in my dream, trying to re-live every moment, as if they were real.

I miss my high school friends so much, and I haven’t seen them for so long. I really wish that we could get back to high school for real. But I know that won’t happen, and we have to move on, I have to move on. I just keep wishing and praying to God that no matter how far we go, we don’t forget each other.

It’s hard to set a specific date and time for all of us to just get together and see each other because of all our schedules. And I know it’s almost impossible for all of us to be at the same place at the same time. But if we all just give it a little nudge, who knows, maybe fate will let us cross each other’s lives once again.


To my 4B family, I love you guys with all my heart. I really, really miss you. I hope we can all set some time off our busy schedules and see each other again. I miss you, and I hope to see you ALL soon. >:D<  :*


Lots of Love,
J<3

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

I am a KULASALLIAN Forever!

Today is the anniversary of the end of my Lasallian dream and the beginning of my Kulasa journey. Exactly a year ago, my ID made its last bleep in "Wally's North Gate". It has been a year since I started walking the halls of SSC as their student and not as a girl-accompanying-her-sister-to-enrollment.


Wally, Leira, Daniel and to all the DLSU people who has been a part of my first year in college, I know it has been a year since I 'left' you, but don't worry, I'm in the hands of people who love me as much as you do. In a year or so, you guys are gonna start graduating, but here I am, barely at the end of my CPA dream. Thanks a lot for being my first group of college friends. I hope our friendship could stand the test of time (and distance).

Dona, Mimi, Irene, Pat, Jenny and Sera, you girls have been my shipmates in my first term as a Kulasa. You made transferring to a new school a lot easier because we got to experience the troubles of being irregs together. I hope we can be classmates once again. But if destiny forbid, I hope we don't forget each other even as we go on and meet new friends (and lots of them, if you know what I mean).

Margo, Kath, Sab, and the rest of BSAcT1a, thanks for welcoming me wholeheartedly to your block and calling me your ate even if we are of the same age. :)) It has been a pleasure being a part of your block somehow. Let us all go through this journey together and show the world that we too can become accountants.

I love you guys! >:D< Sorry for the drama, but I want you to know that I mean every single word I said (or wrote HAHAHA).


Lots of Love,
J<3

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS