Straight from the Heart

You might not know, but I've been trying to write a book for quite some time now. Actually I started writing it when I was fifteen (just the prologue and a chapter), but I only got to writing it again this summer. The thing is, after getting to the fourth chapter, I got hit by the silly writer's block. I just stare at my lap top monitor, type a few words, press CTRL + S, then switch windows. This has been going on for a week or so, and I haven't even finished a page. I keep changing my mind and deleting things. Now, school's just around the corner and summer's about to end, but I haven't gotten to the middle of my story.

The thing is, I've got the whole thing planned out, how it's gonna end and all. But I can't get from the beginning to the end without the middle, right?

So I decided to do something else. I haven't written much in my blog, so I went on and opened it. But our connection got lost so I just typed on MS Word. Words just seemed to flow out of me through my fingers to the keyboard and to the screen. I wanted to write a lot of things. I ended up writing more than one entry to be posted the next day (but I decided to post them one at a time HAHA).

I realized that because I'm pouring out my emotions through the words I'm typing, everything just seems to flow out. But when I decide to write my book again, they stop coming. The words keep flowing straight from the heart. As for my book, it's coming from nothing; it hasn't got any source.

I'm trying to write a book about love when I haven't experienced being in a relationship myself. I tried tapping into the memories I have of my recent crushes, but look what it has gotten me into (re: It started with a dream...). Those "moments" I had with them were on replay for quite some time. (I know I haven't got any real moments with them, but anyone who's had a crush would have special memories of him/her where he/she might have done something, no matter how big or small, that stuck to your head. It may have seemed nothing to the 'crushee' but the 'crusher' would surely remember it.)

I don't know if I'll ever get to finish my book. But now I learned that whatever it is, as long as it's straight from the heart, it will go along its own course.